Why was PT on that national game show? | Bill Mann

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So why did Port Townsend unexpectedly and surprisingly appear as a clue on “Jeopardy!” recently?

What is: I have a possible answer, Alex? 

In the category of “Ends With IDE,” the answer was:  “Port Townsend, WA had one in February, 2019.” The answer/question was: What is a king tide? 

Being as how there was a question the following night about Ivar’s famous clam chowder, I strongly suspect it has to do with the fact that Seattle resident and all-time Jeopardy champ Ken Jennings is, as announced, being assimilated into the show — maybe as the ailing Alex Trebek’s successor. Jennings is possibly part of the show’s clue-writing staff now plus, he read one category of clues last week.— Pro tips for watching Seahawks games from a guy who had to watch a whole lot of tube for 20 years as the TV critic at two major newspapers: 

1) When the Hawks air, DVR the game and try to resist watching until at least  20-30 minutes in. This will allow you to skip a whole bunch of commercials throughout the game. You won’t return to real time until late in the game. Then, when commercials do happen, switch to another channel or watch a pre-recorded show for 30-60 seconds.  

2) If you have a button on your DVR remote that lets you skip ahead 30 seconds, use it between plays you’ve recorded.  This function has annoyed the hell out of people who have watched games at my place, but it lets me whiz through an entire game in 90 minutes or less, with minimal exposure to beer, truck, Celebrex, or snack-food commercials. 

You’re most welcome. 

— At this writing, a second presidential debate tomorrow looks iffy. One Twitterer says, “At this stage, it seems far more likely that Donald Trump will have a mental condition named after him than a Presidential library.” Another funny tweet to the first debate’s moderator: “Shut the (bleep) up, you orange manatee! Now, was that so hard, Chris Wallace?” 

But if another debate does happen — and I hope Biden has bailed before you read this — it won’t be dull. The Orange Incumbent’s roid rage will make him even more combustible than ever. And impulse control was never one of his strong suits. Steroids make it much worse. Believe me, I know: I very nearly impulsively bought a car I didn’t need once when I was on a steroid prescription. 

— Speaking of things to boo besides Cadet Bonespurs, Philadelphia sports fans are known for their derision, even reportedly booing invocations. One player joked, “Philly fans would go out to the airport to boo landings.” 

And speaking of that city, I’m sorry the Tin Brick has folded. I’m told the pizza was quite good, though I never tried it. The reason I would hobble down that long flight of stairs was to order the superb Philly cheesesteak sandwich. If you’ve never had a good Philly cheesesteak, you haven’t lived.

— Speaking of artery-clogging, I was surprised to see poutine on a local restaurant’s menu. This Canadian heart-attack-on-a-plate consists of french fries covered with brown gravy topped with — wait for it — cheese curds. 

I first had poutine, the classic Canadian winter dish, in its native Montreal, where I got so fat I had to have my shower curtain let out. But, alas, our local poutine doesn’t weigh in. If you want great Québec poutine, I’ll let you know where to find it up in Vancouver when the border reopens. 

— The lively al fresco street dining season here will end soon. That is, unless local restaurants get outdoor space heaters, like those you see everywhere in Paris en hiver (in winter).

— Comic Noel Casler on Twitter: “COVID saw Chris Christie and said, “OK, Super Size Me.” Humorist Rick Silson on Trump’s hospitalization: “I like Presidents who weren’t  infected.” 

Finally, The Lincoln Project on ubercreepy Stephen Miller testing positive: “The virus jumped species.” 

(You can reach PT humorist Bill Mann thusly: Newsmann9@gmail.com.)