Smallish items from the Mann with a short attention span

Mann Overboard

Bill Mann
Posted 3/20/19

• Drug deal: Looking for just the right name for that expected baby or grandbaby? Big Pharma is here to help! Any of these drug names I’ve collected from recent DTC (Direct-to-Consumer) …

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Smallish items from the Mann with a short attention span

Mann Overboard

Posted

• Drug deal: Looking for just the right name for that expected baby or grandbaby? Big Pharma is here to help! Any of these drug names I’ve collected from recent DTC (Direct-to-Consumer) ads on TV might work, mostly for girls:

Fosenia; Glucerna; Eliquis (good name for a Roman emperor); Epclusa; Xarelto (wasn’t he one of the X-Men?); Vraylar (see previous); Otezla; Entyrio; Humira (the Greek goddess of moisture?); Allegra (good name for a musician); Mavret, Taltz (male names); Trulicity; Nuplazid; Jardinance. (Sounds like a fragrance).

Ask your doctor if these are right for you!

• Dave’s Not Here, Man: Stoner comics Cheech and Chong are going on the road and will play a gig at a Yelp casino next month.

True story: The cannabinated combo were recording their second album in Montreal. Their first LP was the biggest-selling comedy album since Vaughn Meader’s JFK LP in the 60s.

After the recording session, Cheech Marin, a bright guy who’s won several Celebrity “Jeopardy!” titles, asked me if I’d like to go with them to see a ...lecture. What? Even odder: The speaker was noted author Tom Wolfe.

Sure, I said, still amazed. So we all went to Sir George Williams (now Concordia) University to hear the white-suited Wolfe speak. Afterwards, Cheech and Chong introduced themselves to the famed writer, expecting to be instantly recognized.

But despite the pair’s huge popularity, Wolfe had absolutely no idea who they were.

•Trebek Redux: it was indeed an odd coincidence that my last Leader column, on trying out for “Jeopardy!” and interviewing host Alex Trebek, happened to appear the very day Trebek announced he had pancreatic cancer. Several PT people asked if I knew ahead of time. How could I? Plus, that column was filed several days before Trebek’s announcement.

• Belle Tacos: I often stream Santa Fe’s progressive KTRC radio, partly because I’m quite fond of that artsy New Mexico city, partly because of KTRC’s ads, like the one for a local pest guy: “The bug stops here.” But talk about a trendy ad: One Santa Fe taqueria claims its tortillas are each made with corn from different fields, and are numbered, “like fine wines.” (Wines are numbered? I lived in wine country for years and hadn’t heard that). That ad is almost enough to send me to Taco Bell. Almost.

• More fast food: Comic Steve Pearl insists that his first job in high school was “spray-painting the grill marks on the burgers at Burger King.” And Jay Leno jokes that McDonald’s hiring seniors “is part of their cradle-to-grave minimum-wage plan.”

• A Taste of Honey: Wilderbee Farms’ just-opened meaderie here has some visitors confused, it appears. Mead is a historic fermented beverage made from honey. But the meadery website says that when Wilderbee announced plans to build a meadery, “folks got excited that there would be all kinds of meat.” That would, um, be a butcher shop, maybe a charcuterie.

• The Ranter: You may be, as I am, a fan of volcanic and dyspeptic comic/political commentator Lewis Black, featured on “The Daily Show” going back to its Jon Stewart days.

These days, when he’s not in New York shooting his “Daily” segment, Black is touring the country, and his “The Rant is Due” website (livelewis.com ) posts a 15-minute post-concert performance each night.

Black has been getting big laughs lately with this line in response to a question he’s often asked: “Is Trump good for comedy?”

Black: “Yes, the way a stroke is good for a nap.”

(PT resident and humorist Bill Mann has done the TV column for three major daily newspapers and humor columns for USA Today).