Seniors’ life returning to normal here | Mann Overboard

Bill Mann
Posted 4/7/21

Ah, to finally be fully vaxxed. Mirabile dictu! It’s like, well, coming out of quarantine. A town like PT with so many seniors and thus so many fully vaccinated — 75 percent —is …

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Seniors’ life returning to normal here | Mann Overboard

Posted

Ah, to finally be fully vaxxed. Mirabile dictu! It’s like, well, coming out of quarantine. A town like PT with so many seniors and thus so many fully vaccinated — 75 percent —is unique. Time to par-TAY!

Imagine. Going to our friend Grace’s recent birthday party — with not a mask in sight. Actual social interaction! 

Or riding with others in our car. Or having neighbors in our house. Or eating dinner, unmasked, at our gourmet-chef friend Bob’s house. Magnifique! 

And: Restaurant meals! Indoors!

My wife and I celebrated our first such dinner in over a year the other day. “Let’s go when it’s not crowded,” she said, “4:00?” 

Good idea. So we made rezzes, figuring the place would be empty at that hour.

No way. The place was full of diners. 

But don’t gloat. Our son is walled up behind the border, up in lovely Vancouver, where vaccine is much scarcer than here. He is not pleased about Canada getting the short end of the (hockey?) stick while the U.S. gets far more shots. Seems that Cadet Bonespurs cancelled Canadian vaccine contracts with U.S. firms. America first! Screw the neighbors! 

Well, at least he is in far less danger of another fatal disease in Canada: Guns. I heard the NRA has a new magazine: Supermarket Shooting Enthusiast. 

— One thing that’s helped us through the pandemic here: Rocky Friedman’s Saturday popcorn sales at his Rose theatre. No movies there yet — Rocky told me maybe in July (oy!). But his good popcorn remains. 

— OK, another thing still missing here: Those cheap, nutritious meals at the hospital. Currently, they’re open for authorized personnel only (hospital staff). It’s the best deal in town — six samolians for a restaurant-caliber meal, created by chef Arran Stark. How many hospitals have a real chef on staff? Although I wish they had a staple at most hospitals, tapioca. Love that tapioca. 

— I’ve just been clued in to one of the funniest shows on TV: “Corner Gas,” on Amazon Prime. The highest-rated Canadian show ever. Wonderfully written, with a touch of cynicism. Set in Dog River, Saskatchewan, one of those small towns where both city limits are posted on one sign. Where the sheriff runs the massage parlor. And where the power plant is a Sears Die Hard. (Three rim shots!). 

— Congrats to my neighbors Kelly Dodson and Sue Milliken of Far Reaches Farms up on Hastings. A recent New York Times piece on specialty nurseries praised them “for special affection, not just for their generosity, but also an inspiration for how much better a nursery can be when it’s run by a couple,” adding, “It’s arguably the best nursery in the country for cool-climate perennials.” Pretty cool. 

— Want a funny read? Try anything by the witty Christopher Buckley, son of William F. I’ve recently devoured his “Thank You For Smoking” (the movie was only so-so); “Boomsday,” “Make Russia Great Again,” and “Florence of Arabia,” which torches the Saudis, whom he calls Wassabis. More Buckley books beckon. 

— My COVID prediction: We’ll approach herd immunity in a few months. The tiresome anti-vaxxers, of course, will be holdouts. But ... companies can legally require employees to be vaccinated. (Wanna keep your job, Jethro?) Some employers will pay workers ($100?) to get dosed. 

— Word that the Wooden Boat will be afloat in September brings back my idea for a booth at the big boatfest: I’d like to hang a banner saying, “Let Me Burn Your Currency!”  I’ll even provide matches. My gift to current or future boat owners. 

— Speaking of nautical matters: It’s exhilarating to be back in the Mountain View Pool again. Suggestion: The governor says two swimmers in a lane are allowed. Let’s double the fun!

— On the water front again: The New Yorker’s peerless Andy Borowitz has this headline: “Georgia Governor Declares Water a Gateway Drug That Leads to Voting.” 

(PT humorist Bill Mann dearly misses his Montreal bagels, poutine, and smoked meat. He wants the Canadian border to reopen ASAP. newsmann9@gmail.com) 

Comments

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Ed S.

Bill. you have made multiple good suggestions.

You are right. "Corner Gas" is very well written -- and funny.

I like your prediction that we will reach herd immunity in a few months, so I am interested to know which herd you intend to belong to -- Jersey, Guernsey or something more esoteric. And will you feel safe enough to allow visitors from other herds into your barn?

Kids should be assigned their own herd -- Seen but Not Heard.

Dr. Fauci mentioned on the news that work is proceeding on a universal vaccine that will protect against all strains of the coronavirus and the common cold. The main ingredient apparently is Clorox subjected to UV lighting. And we thought President Bonespurs was an ignoramus. Genius manifests itself in mysterious ways!

Wednesday, April 7
Evan Green

Excellent column, Bill. At your recommendation, I'm reading Buckley's Make Russia Great Again and have Thank You for Smoking in the queue.

Someone described a boat as a hole in the water into which you throw all your money.

Corner Gas is excellent. I'm fond of the dry humor.

Thursday, April 8
PT Anthony

I’m sorry. Did I miss the memo? No masks at a party? Is that really OK now?

Saturday, April 10
Tom Thiersch

No masks in the company of others not in your immediate family??? CDC has clear guidelines that say otherwise (as does our state's mask mandate, which is still in effect):

https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/vaccines/fully-vaccinated.html

"We’re still learning how vaccines will affect the spread of COVID-19. After you’ve been fully vaccinated against COVID-19, you should keep taking precautions—like wearing a mask, staying 6 feet apart from others, and avoiding crowds and poorly ventilated spaces—in public places until we know more."

Also,

Saturday, April 10