Racketeering grips Port Townsend

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WALKING THE PLINK: Is it kosher to play pickleball on a state ferry?

The Edmonds ferry is only one of several places PT’s Jack Olmsted practices his favorite sport.

He plays with a pal on a reduced-size court in his garage. He plinks away on the walls near the Mountain View pool.

Jack and fellow racketeers can be found in more and more places here these days playing pickleball, the fastest-growing sport on the peninsula: They’re playing on the Mountain View tennis courts. On the courts at the courthouse (the outdoor ones). The PTHS tennis courts. At Kala Point and Cape George.

At the Mountain View gym, the winter hot spot, enthusiasts (mostly seniors) wait patiently for their turn to play on one of the two courts. Meanwhile, pickleball addict/videographer Olmsted is up on the stage, plinking away against a wall.

The game is a cross between badminton – the courts are the same size – and tennis, and uses small wooden rackets and a smaller, modified whiffle ball. There’s not a lot of running in this lively, fast-paced game, so good reflexes are the thing.

Pickleball has caught on across the country. Olmsted says it was invented 50 years ago on Bainbridge Island. He posts video tutorials and even PT match highlights on Twitter, YouTube,

Facebook and the Seattle Post-Intelligencer. He says there’s even a “secret” Facebook pickleball group. (I asked Olmsted if there was a secret handshake involved. No comment. Classified.)

So why do so many seniors play it?

Laughing, one PT pickler said, “Because most of us are retired. Younger people gotta go to work.”

WORD SEARCH

Older people don’t like to be called “old,” and some don’t care for “senior citizens” either, writes Stanford psychology professor Laura Carstensen in The Washington Post.

So she set out to find a new term, and she thinks she’s found one to “move the conversation along.” And I rather like it: “perennials.”

“‘Perennials’ makes clear that we’re still here, blossoming again,” she writes. The modifier “hardy” also works well with perennial, of course.

Whatever. Just so long as we continue to get our “perennial” discounts at theaters, museums, ferries, etc.

WHATTA CARD!

For found humor, you can’t go wrong with the Food Co-op bulletin board (four photos of a found hat), and especially the business cards catalogued nearby. They’re a colorful reminder of why PeeTee won’t likely be confused with Beanblossom, Texas.

A few business cards that are on display at the co-op:

“Bee Removal Service” (Honey, I’m home!)

“Reptiles and Exotic Animals for Parties and Events” (CoBRA! CoBRA! CoBRA!)

“Vitality Catalyst” (Also a good euphemism for a coke dealer.)

“Clairvoyant and Intuitive Bodywork” (I foresee ... you paying $75 an hour.)

“Holistic Lifestyle Consultant” (Yurts R Us)

Finally, “Hoarding Awareness – Because Hoarding Affects Everyone” (Especially the guy who lives next door to the woman with 25 cats.)

ARE YOU FOLKS LOST?

I’d like to know what motivated those two protesters to display signs reading “Women Pastors = Hell” outside a local church here recently. Especially since

that church doesn’t even have a female pastor.

I’M LOVIN’ IT

As I hobble around Art Walk here, inhaling free wine and cheese, I can’t help but notice the nature themes of the vast majority of art on display. But I’m always looking for offbeat and/or funny art, not something you often find.

There was one notable exception a while back at a local gallery: It was a classic tableau of Jesus and the 12 disciples seated at a table, but with McDonald’s wrappers and empty containers strewn about. That was funny and quirky enough, but even better was the name of the painting: “The Fast Supper.”

Port Townsend resident Bill Mann has been humor columnist at CBS MarketWatch.com and USA Today. He’s always on the lookout for funny items – and funny people. Contact him at newsmann9@gmail.com.