‘Oh, my goodness.’ | The sideline stylings of Coach Trey Beathard

Posted 1/5/22

The woman in purple laughed and looked over at the person next to her who was also leaning on the chain link fence.

It was partway through the second quarter, and on the football field in front of …

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‘Oh, my goodness.’ | The sideline stylings of Coach Trey Beathard

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The woman in purple laughed and looked over at the person next to her who was also leaning on the chain link fence.

It was partway through the second quarter, and on the football field in front of them, Quilcene was comfortably in the lead. But the shouts from the Ranger sideline indicated otherwise.

“I wish I had a mix tape of what he says sometimes,” she laughed.

“Yeah!” came the laughing agreement.

Ranger Coach Trey Beathard is not a silent skulker on the sidelines. But there’s often comedy gold in those exasperated exaltations.

For those who have missed the live show, we present this collection of
roaring reactions, great gripes, and random witticisms from games throughout the season.

“Just tackle the guy with the ball — not the referee!”

 

Coach: “Did you make the tackle?”

Player: “They were on the other side of me, coach.”

Coach: “Yeah, they were scared of you.”

 

To a fan on the sideline as he waits for the team to take the field: “They’re still in there voting if they want to play.”

 

To ball boy retrieving ball: “Good catch. One-handed. And you got the haircut.”

 

“We’re not covering the pass. We’ve got to get on the flats. C’mon guys. We’re beating ourselves!”

 

“It’s going to be a long night.”

 

Coach, looking along the sideline to put in James Miller, but not seeing him.

“Where is he, getting a hot dog?”

 

After a fumble on the Rangers’ first play: “Oh, my goodness.”

 

“Guys, we don’t have to sign autographs after our one good play.”

 

To a player noting his torn uniform from an earlier play: “I’m going to rip your jersey if you get another holding.”

 

“Don’t stand there. We’re not playing sissy ball.”

 

To the defense: “No one is standing behind you!”

 

To referee during a very long third quarter: “I should be singing the school song right now.”

At 8:10 in third quarter against the Neah Bay Red Devils with the Rangers well ahead:

Bishop Budnek to coach: “Are you happy?”

“No. I’m not happy yet.”

The Red Devils run back for a touchdown on the next play for their first score.

 

As Bishop Budnek looks over his shoulder into the stands.

“Stay with me Bishop. No autographs.”

 

“That was a big drive. That was a BIG drive.”

 

“Bishop - I guess we’re going to need to keep shoving it!”

 

“It’s third-and-one. I don’t want you dancing - look at the distance!”

 

To referee: “You’ve got to blow that whistle before my guy gets thrown like a dead fish!”

Referee walks away.

“What about the throw-down?!?!”

 

To Ranger statistician Melissa Kieffer on the sideline: “Melissa, why did you let them score?”

Melissa: [Shrugs.]

 

“That was a pretty good run.”

 

“Oh, my goodness. That is huge.”

 

“Dominic! Did I say to move up? That’s every play!”

“Move up on the line. YOU MOVE UP!”

A few silent seconds pass.

“I’m not telling you as a practical joke.”

 

“Guys, if you don’t let them drag you for three or four yards, they won’t make as much yardage.”

 

“Is this the fun part?”

 

“When you blitz, that’s the kind of [stuff] that should happen occasionally.”

 

“Bishop! Where are you going?!”

 

To a linebacker who said “Sorry” after a brutal tackle of an opposing player: “What are you apologizing for? I’m going to send your parents an email. You have to learn to not be so nice.”

 

Pleadingly, after a botched play: “We’re good. C’mon, we’re good!”

 

After multiple penalty flags hit the turf, Assistant Coach Darrin Dotson approaches Coach Beathard and pretends to begin CPR on Beathard’s chest as the coach stands looking toward the field in disbelief.

The call comes back against the other team: illegal block in the back.

“That’s just cause I was living right.”

 

A flag, then another, for unsportsmanlike conduct. But not on the Rangers.

“We’ve got to keep our cool. Don’t say anything! Don’t do anything!”

 

To no one in particular: “Forever. It feels like we’ve been in the third quarter forever.”

 

To a player complaining about a missed call: “It doesn’t matter. They’re not going to call everything. It’s football.”

 

“C’mon guys! C’mon.”

 

“Fourth-and-60 and they got behind us. It was fourth and 60.”

 

“We still have to play. You guys understand that?”

 

“Oh, my gosh. Golly. Guys….”

 

“The game’s not over! What are you doing?!?!”

 

“It seems like it’s been a week since halftime.”

 

To eighth-grader Aiden Cate, before the start of the game.

“I thought I told you to gain some weight.”

Cate, wide-eyed: “I’m trying!”

 

“I’m getting too old for this.”

 

Player coming off field and explaining a missed tackle: “Coach, I stepped in a pothole — that’s why I couldn’t get him.”

“That’s the first time I ever heard that one. Good job.”

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