“What would you like to see in my column?” I occasionally ask other seniors for suggestions, wanting to tap into stuff older folks in my community would like to read. It had always been a simple question with easy to write responses. Some folks wanted to see more about pets, others suggested additional senior fitness and health articles, and quite a few folks kindly said they looked forward to and enjoyed whatever I wrote. When I casually posed the question to my hairstylist Jacqueline, her cozy salon a fixture in town for years, the answer wasn’t all that simple.

At first, her response seemed straightforward, but when I got home and mulled it over, it wasn’t. “The younger generation is supposed to learn from and respect their elders,” she said. “I don’t see much of that today. Maybe write something about respect.” The reality of older folks fading into the background along with my ever-churning creative writer’s brain took charge. I wanted to compose something meaningful to acknowledge and honor her answer to my query.

In truth, there are cultures and countries that respect and celebrate family elders. India, Greece, Korea, China are on that list. And when I took an ethnic studies course in college, my mind and heart were opened to a society, a lifestyle of senior regard I’ve grown to view with deep caring. In the Native American way of life, elders are revered and their wisdom, life experiences, lessons, and acquired knowledge are all honored and passed down to the younger tribal members. Recalling that inspiring class made me think about my own past and present contribution to today’s kids regarding appreciating the older citizens in their midst who harbor many valuable, enlightening stories. So, as Jacqueline astutely suggested, here are a few words about respect.

     “Native Americans looked at the mountain and said, ‘How can I coexist with you?’ We looked at that mountain and said, ‘How can I conquer you?’” This was the lead in sentence spoken by my ethnic studies professor on the first day of class. And it was all about a larger picture of thoughtfulness that encouraged me to read many books on Native American lore. But what about the day-to-day environment of our children? Where does esteem begin? I can look back on my childrearing days and wonder just how good I was at teaching respect. My children are wonderful, caring people, so I must have done something right. But speaking as an older person, I’m sure I could have done a better job. Also speaking as a seasoned gal, I’m sure it’s not too late. I’m a great deal wiser today and part of my learning comes from witnessing reverence from folks beyond my years. One-hundred-year-old exerciser, Jake, singing with joy and gratitude as he slowly rode the exercise bike and who often spoke with love and caring about the wildlife in his backyard. My father stopping on a busy New York City sidewalk to give aid and respect to a down and out fellow human being and teaching a blind boy about his world through touch and sound. Uncle Frank chauffeuring nuns.

Just what are our young folks learning today about coexisting in their society? It’s a scary question. With the current state of our country, older folks have an enormous task. We must honor and speak of the goodness of our past, and display compassion and a deep commitment to living with benevolence and humanity. We are the examples. We may not be able to influence many, but having a positive impact on one is a step in the right direction. I tell my son how much I admire his teaching skills, and he’s buoyed to compliment a young student. I show a grandson high regard, and he passes it along to his child.

Perhaps getting respect begins with giving respect. “Being born as humans to this earth is a very sacred trust. We have a sacred responsibility because of the special gift we have, which is beyond the fine gifts of the plant life, the fish, the woodlands, the birds, and all the other living things on earth. We are able to take care of them.” Audrey Shenandoah.

Carole Marshall is a former newspaper columnist and feature writer for American Profile magazine. Her stories have been published in Chicken Soup for the Soul books. cmkstudio2@gmail.com