Shopping today, an old friend stopped me to talk; the weather, masks, Covid, protests.

I stood there waiting, looking deep into his eyes, his heart. Waiting. 

Finally he took a step closer and said, “I understand you recently lost Rick. We were so sorry to hear it. He was a good man.” And then he said what so many friends, old and new have expressed to me. “I didn’t know if I should say something. It might make you sad.”

I can only speak for myself, but for anyone out there listening, not saying something to me, when we meet in public, makes me sad. I am fully aware of his death. You mentioning it won’t remind me, it will show me that you care about the significance of “our” moment.

Friends can help friends in grief by broaching the subject first. I can not tell you how difficult it is to slip into a normal conversational voice and offer, “Oh by the way, Rick died.”

I left my friend in the store feeling more loved and cared for.

Diana Talley
PORT TOWNSEND