Healing the spirit

Artist copes with family tragedies by creating with her hands

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Within the span of two years, Sarah Fitch’s youngest son was shot to death by a police officer in Seattle, her grandson died of sudden infant death syndrome, and her eldest son committed suicide to escape the agony of losing his brother and son.

“He hung himself,” she said. “I should have followed him.”

But Fitch did not, and she now finds healing through creating art.

“I had to get to this space of what made me happy before my kids were born,” she said. “What was present before that?”

Fitch said she realized it was her love of art.

“I have done art since I was a little kid. It was a primary joy. I always made things. It just came as a gift. I am not an art school product at all. It is something I am going to do whether or not anybody is going to pay me to do it.

“I’ve worked as a registered nurse for over 30 years as the income from art is uncertain,” she added. “In between career caregiving requirements, I return to self-care through art.”

Fitch’s works will be on display in March at Gallery 9, 1012 Water St. in Port Townsend. The theme is “Art Saves Lives,” and the exhibit will include life-sized paper machie animals, including a greyhound based on a dog Fitch once owned.

“This is honoring a rescue greyhound I had, Vincent, who was a lively, spirited very unusual dog,” she said. “This is basically paper machie, but it has a wire, wood and cardboard skeletal structure. It was built with an armature.”

She was originally going to make the sculpture out of clay and place it at Vincent’s grave near Rolling Raven Studio in Port Townsend, where Fitch does much of her work.

“I was running out of time and suddenly got to be the featured artist in March, so I switched gears to see how fast I could do this, and I couldn’t finish it in clay,” she said. “I just started going with a different medium. It was exciting the things I could do with the paper-based medium that I can’t do in clay.

“If this was in clay, it would weigh a ton,” she said. “I can lift this up. It is probably about 12 or 15 pounds because it is hollow.”

The eyes on the paper machie sculpture are strikingly realistic because they are made of glass.

“I had these little glass baubles, the kind you use to put in flower vases,” Fitch said. “It is clear little glass that I painted on the interior. I painted the eye. It wouldn’t look the same if it was exterior. I just thought it was so cool when it came out.”

Fitch said creating such pieces is a healthy way for her to cope.

“My art is about life,” she said. “I am surely capable of making things, and sometimes I do that for my personal therapy when I just have to put it into something,” she said. “There is so much in the world today that I don’t really want to dump on people. Can I focus on a happier way of being? Creating art is certainly my way.”

Son killed

Samuel Toshiro Smith, 27, was shot three times by Seattle police officer Shaun Hilton on July 17, 2015, about 40 minutes after Smith struck a patrol car from behind while traveling southbound on Interstate 5, according to The Leader archives.

Smith grew up in Port Townsend, where he worked in local kitchens, played in local bands and graduated from Mar Vista Alternative High School in 2006, before he moved to Seattle about five years later.

The knife Smith was holding was one of several sushi knives police later found in a bag on the passenger-side floor of his car.

Fitch was in disbelief after she watched dashcam video of her son’s shooting.

“He was seated in his car and approached by the officer, and he exited the car with a knife in his hand,” she said. “Less than two seconds, he was shot and killed. It was absolutely out of character. How could anything like this happen? He was a gentle spirit. Non-violent. The knife, sushi chefs carry their knives.”

“He probably was in complete fear and had no idea what was happening,” Fitch said.

Losing his little brother

Pete Knute Smith was shocked by the death of his little brother, Fitch said.

“They were best friends three years apart,” she said. “Pete just tried to man up. He doesn’t do grief. He poured his energy into taking care of his family.”

Peter then had a baby boy, whom he named Sammy Bear after his late brother. The baby died five weeks later.

Peter turned to his mother for help.

“What do I do, Mom?” he asked. “Those were exactly the same words I said to my mom when he died,” Fitch said.

Unable to cope, Peter committed suicide on May 20, 2017.

“As his mom, it just compounded the tragedy,” Fitch said. “All I could see was my son in agony. He was putting it behind him and powering through, but it was just too much for him.”

Caring for the spirit

Although she’s no longer able to care physically for her sons, Fitch still seeks to care for them in spirit.

“Motherhood never ends, and even after they passed, you want to help them and know they are OK,” she said. “There is part of you that says they are not gone. They can’t be gone. How are you going to help them? How can you help the spirit? Well, you better not dwell in darkness.”

Fitch decided to honor her sons and grandson by the way she lives.

“Do you want to go bitter or better?” she asked. “If anything, my love for them just expanded. Where can I put it? Can I make a difference? Also, I don’t want any of their friends to think suicide is OK. A lot of folks see me as a mom and grandma figure, so I wear the mantle a little bit. I am going to be me either way, but it sort of dawned that they were looking at how I handled this.”

On her property near Port Townsend, where her two boys grew up playing the woods, Fitch often can be found in the small studio her boys helped her build. She said she finds peace and joy within the plastered walls of the one-room building. She said she can feel their spirit with her when she is there.

“Without a doubt, I do,” she said. “I create art everywhere, but this is a dedicated space.”