Not the green-jacket golf tournament. The TV quiz show once hosted by Alex Trebek. 

Many of you, like us, are hooked on the brainy quiz show. I’ve been watching “Jeopardy!” since I was in junior high in New Rochelle, N.Y., and had to stay home because of polio surgery.

Back in its nascent days, “Jeopardy!” was originally hosted by  — trivia-quiz time — Art Fleming. 

My favorite reading matter as a kid was The World Almanac, atlases, and newspapers. Fertile ground for a future “Jeopardy!” contestant. 

Alas, when my chance came years later, I blew it. What is abject failure, Alex? 

I was TV critic for a San Francisco daily, and when it was announced “Jeopardy!” tryouts were coming to town, I cadged a ticket.

I was beyond cocky. Even though my publisher ruled it would be a conflict of interest to win any money, no matter. I showed up in the ballroom of the St. Francis Hotel, ready to dominate all those other would-be contestants. 

In short, my clock was then cleaned. 

We got a list of 50 questions and only 15 seconds to answer each. Ugh. 

When our very first question was about Melville’s  “Billy Budd,” I knew I was  in trouble. I had gone to great pains to avoid reading Melville’s more famous “Moby Dick” back in my schooldays. (You, too?)

In short, like a deficient plane, I flamed out. Crashed and burned. The questions were brutal. I got 7 out of 50 right. A grade of F-minus.

I left the ballroom alongside a retired schoolteacher, and we commiserated. “I haven’t felt so stupid in my entire life,” she said. I nodded. 

And I hadn’t felt  so intellectually deficient since I attended an alumni meeting for my daughter’s classmates from Portland’s brainy Reed College, where both our  kids graduated. 

But I did get an interview with the  show’s host, Canadian Alex Trebek, who now has his own U.S. stamp that read “Naturalized American.” 

The pleasant Trebek was pleasantly surprised to meet a Yank who had actually been to his hometown, the dreary Sudbury, Ontario. (I’m not planning a  second visit). 

Fast forward. Trebek  passed away, got his well-deserved stamp, and was replaced by Seattleite Ken Jennings as the show’s emcee. 

Now it’s hard to keep track of the growing list of “Jeopardys.” 

There’s the regular show, the Tournament of Champions, Celebrity Jeopardy! and, also, currently airing, the “Jeopardy! Masters." 

I tried recently to take the show’s “Jeopardy!” online test to get on the show. There are 50 questions, 15 seconds each, just like the hotel in San Francisco format. And they are just as tough as the ones I encountered. 

Now I watch the show from afar … for me, a safe distance.  

— My game-show failure run continued locally the other day when my East Jefferson Rotary Club team took on Chimacum High’s Knowledge Bowl team of smart students. We lost by one point. I actually knew the correct final answer…but I didn’t  buzz in. That would have won it for us. 

— In case you’re wondering about how hard the San Francisco test I took was, I remember two questions from it. Buzzers ready? Q. In what country were the  ruins of Troy discovered? A. What is Turkey, Alex? And, where does  linseed oil come from? A. What is flax, Alex?   

  And those were two of the easier ones.             

— Notice anything about those container ships floating by PT? Like how many fewer their stacked containers are? In the Puget Sound version of “Trainspotting,” a retiree from just north of Seattle has taken to logging all the cargo on container ships, mostly from China, he sees. He told the Seattle Times it’s down about 50 percent. Those stupid and ridiculous Trump tariffs sure are working, aren’t they? 

— Still on the international front, I love ABC late night guy Jimmy Kimmel’s line: “Because there’s now an American pope, the new Popemobile will be a Ford F-250 outfitted with truck nuts.” 

Failed “Jeopardy!” contestant Bill Mann can be questioned  at Newsmann9@gmail.com