Fake viruses and real grilled cheese | Mann Overboard

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I’m joining a booster club this weekend — the Moderna booster club, that is. Age does have some benefits. But just as I’m expecting to be COVID-proofed (well, maybe), I spot this worrisome headline in the Kala Pointer Newsletter: “The Nile E Virus, Type C Warning” Oh oh. Among its symptoms: Hitting DELETE instead of SEND, and choosing REPLY ALL to every email. 

Now, the dénoument: “That’s why it’s called the C-NILE Virus!” Geddit? And if you can’t admit to having the above symptoms, it adds, “You’ve caught a mutated strain…the D-NILE virus.” Rim shot! 

— If you want to buy something at Pane D’Amore’s Washington Street outlet, be warned that the Grilled Cheese rush-hour line starts before noon. No Velveeta. 

— The MV Coho from PA will return the same day Canadians are allowed across the border, Nov. 8. It’s probably just a matter of time before the Canadian government drops the costly PCR COVID test required to enter Canada ( around $180.) Fingers crossed.

— In The Swim … Again: Now that the Mountain View Pool has (blessedly) reopened under YMCA auspices, let’s keep it from closing again. More lifeguards and swimming instructors are needed. Please call 360-385-5811 for info on joining the great crew. Or apply online: olympicpeninsulaymca.org.

It’s a nonstop pool party! 

— Advance Tickets were grabbed fast for the Starlight Room’s first nights of Wes Anderson’s “French Dispatch.” I’m hoping to snag some soon. It’s been too long since I had some of that first-rate Rose Theatre popcorn, and the Silverwater is no longer shipping meals upstairs. So no more orders for “Clark Gable” et al. 

— But downstairs food is now available way downstairs … a new Italian eatery across the street from the Rose, in the basement where the Tin Brick once was. I still miss the Brick’s Philly cheese steak sandwiches. 

— I’m a supporter of all newspapers; I buy several locals. But the Peninsula Daily News arrives at my house about six hours late, lately. Circulation staffing problems. The PDN has been so slow in arriving I half expect to see a Page One headline reading “Dewey Defeats Truman.” 

— Speaking of newspapers, there’s been a lot of press about the latest movie version of one-time PT resident Frank Herbert’s climate-fiction prototype, “Dune.” Herbert also once worked at the daily in Santa Rosa, Calif., where I did the TV column. Our summer intern at that Northern California daily, then owned by The New York Times, was A.G. Sulzberger III, then a Brown senior and now the Grey Lady’s publisher.

More talent came out of the Santa Rosa Press-Democrat, including the best cartoon strip going now, Stefan Pastis’ “Pearls Before Swine.” 

— We drove 90 miles out to Sol Duc Hot Springs the other day, and upon arrival were told, somewhat ironically, that there was no water (water-main break). Argh. Undeterred, we returned a few days later to the rehydrated facility and took to the sulfurized waters after hydrating. Once again, we found ourselves amidst Russian bathers — whom, I suspect, come all the way over from Seattle.

— Christmas Gift Idea?: The NY Times ran a photo of erstwhile Italy detainee Amanda Knox’s fitting welcome mat at her place on Vashon Island: “Come Back With a Warrant.” 

— Comic Mort Sahl will be missed. My pal Michael Krasny, in his book about agnosticism, included this Sahl joke:  “When I was a boy, we were the only agnostic family in all-Christian neighborhood. Someone burned a question mark on our lawn.” 

— Texas’ absurd new anti-abortion laws don’t surprise me, coming as they do from a place where the placard on one state legislator’s door in the Austin capitol read (according to the New Yorker) “Larry Wilson. Former Fetus.” Oy. 

— I used to consider myself a Seahawks’ fan. But now I realize I’m primarily a Russell Wilson fan. Please return for the Green Bay game, Russell! 

— Comic Dana Gould has this funny take on how pets tell time: 

“To a dog, when you’re home, it’s now. When you leave, it’s forever.

“But when you’ve been gone an hour, cats assume you’ve been eaten by bigger game.” 

(PT humorist Bill Mann is of the belief that you have funny items for him. Contact him at Newsmann9@gmail.com.)