Jason Victor Serinus

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I question the premise that primary responsibility for a child’s wellbeing lies with either the parent(s) or the state. It is not an either/or proposition.”

I resisted the idea of participating in a point/counterpoint until I saw the opening question: “Who is primarily responsible for your child’s well-being, you or the state?” I felt impelled to respond.

As the Vice Chair of the Executive Committee of the Washington State LGBTQ Commission, I fully supported House Bill 1296 which corrects some dangerous aspects of Initiative 2081, the so-called Parent’s Bill of Rights. Note, however, that everything I write below is my own opinion, and does not represent the position of the non-partisan LGBTQ Commission.

First, I question the very premise that primary responsibility for a child’s wellbeing lies with either the parent(s) or the state. It is not an either/or proposition.

We live in a democracy in which government of the people, by the people, and for the people strives to unite people in ways that serve the higher good. As in many tribal societies where child-raising was and is seen as a community concern, we have created an entire net of parental, child, and social services to collectively assist parents in doing what is best for their children. What Kelbon refers to as “the state” is actually a network of living, breathing human beings, some of whom are legislators, who strive to support the best interests of both parents and children.

I believe this is in line with what HB1296 sponsor, State Representative Monica Jurado Stonier of Vancouver, said in a statement released by House Dems on May 27. “Our state has an obligation to provide every K-12 student with a quality education,” she said. “We cannot allow shifting political winds to derail any child’s ability to learn in the classroom. Fear and anxiety can profoundly impact a child’s ability to be attentive, and it is our job to provide our kids with a safe and supportive learning environment.”

In a follow-up with KOMO News, Stonier added, “The young people in our schools deserve a place where they can be seen and acknowledged in their full selves and experience a full curriculum.” This jives with the House Dem’s statement, “Educators and other school staff who support students in exercising their rights are afforded protection from retaliation under HB 1296 when performing their duties in accordance with professional obligations and legal mandates.”

It’s also right in line with Sen. Claire Wilson, who wrote, “When school districts fall short, parents and students need a tool to ensure kids are protected and rules are followed. HB 1296 provides that tool by creating a way to hold school districts accountable when individuals in positions of power intentionally violate state laws meant to protect students. This bill will help foster inclusive, welcoming learning environments for children of all backgrounds so they can focus on learning.”

I don’t know what most parents want or do. I just know that my mother and I fought daily from the year I turned 13 until I fled for college. My father, in turn, withdrew. I was left to fight for my life on my own. It was horrible.

At one point, my parents took me to an emotionally distant child psychiatrist. No warmth whatsoever. After I left his office with a prescription for meds, we all agreed (for once) that drugging me up was not the best way

Instead, to a therapist we went. I still remember the welcoming colors of the paintings in his waiting room. First, he spoke with my parents by themselves. When it was my turn to meet with him in private, he told me about his recent experience with a family where, after speaking to everyone, he recommended that the parents enter therapy. Then he smiled reassuringly, told me I was fine, shook my hand, and wished me well.

It took decades of self-healing until I realized what that therapist was trying to tell me. By then, I was already well into the process of learning to love myself as a gay man. Part of that process was acknowledging that I’d been the subject of emotional incest. It may have gone beyond that.

If anyone were to initiate a guaranteed confidential survey of Port Townsend residents, I wonder how many of us would acknowledge that we suffered (or currently suffer) physical or emotional abuse at the hands of parents, relatives, friends of the family, dates, or love partners? Who had/has one or more abusive alcoholic or drug addict for a parent? Who has been harmed by a religious leader? And who tried to tell a parent what was going on, only to be rebuffed?

Due in no small part to the Trump Administration’s ongoing campaign against LGBTQ+ people, children across the United States are being ostracized, abused, thrown out of their homes, or forced into conversion therapy. Those children are in emergency situations. Some of them desperately seek help from their teachers or guidance counselors. If parents are allowed full “access to their child’s mental health counseling, medical and health care, or vocational counseling records,” those children could suffer irreparable harm.

The same is true for children who are interrogated because of suspected criminal activity. Some are acting out because of the abuse they suffer at home, or because of social conditions beyond their control. A safety zone of up to 72 hours can make the difference between turning a life around or pushing a child further into crime.

SB 1296 does not place the state ahead of parents. It puts the needs and well-being of children and parents on equal footing and affords both necessary protections.

Jason Victor Serinus is a critic of culture, music, and audio. A longtime advocate for rights, equality, and freedom, he is also a professional whistler. Column tips: jvsaisi24@gmail.com