(Editor’s note: Rumors of Ned Luce’s demise, as a columnist, are exaggerated. Last week’s absence was due to human error, not over-use of the editorial spike.)

There we all were, a crowd of almost two hundred at the Bay club last Friday afternoon. I suspect the average age was around one hundred and twelve. You would have thought it was a Lawrence Welk TV show. The average was probably not really that high since my gaze fell on at least one attendee who looked younger than seventy. The occasion was a two-hour seminar for folks either experiencing or preparing for living alone due to death of a spouse or partner or dog. Local Steve Frenzl used his own experience as a mortician’s assistant and those of several attendees to discuss the problems encountered by affected people. The seminar also included the review of successful strategies to cope with those problems, particularly by using a planning tool Steve had developed. At that point I was reminded of advice from Bertolt Brecht which should be in the plan. “From the cradle to the coffin, underwear comes first.” At one point in the seminar when there was discussion of the costs encountered when dealing with burial or cremation or other procedures, Steve noted that Costco actually sells coffins. Jim Gormley was quick to add that they come in a package of three at a time. BJ encouraged me to go the seminar with her even though the statistics would lead you to believe she will be the one who needs the plan, not me. In fact, I believe she is immortal so she will have plenty of time to recover from losing a fine spouse such as I. The fact is I am convinced she will recover well enough to actually get an upgrade! Heck, she had cataract surgery and as I noted last week, I discovered she has beautiful blue eyes.

It seems to me that GBF Catering has become omnipresent in Eastern Jefferson County. GBF stands for “God Bless Food” and is owned by Thysen and Debi Scott. We go to charity auctions and one of the items usually found is a donated coupon for dinner for ten or twelve at your home prepared by GBF. It was just a month ago that Steve and Fran Gross had a group of us over to fix our own pizzas under the watchful eye of Thysen. Last week I went to the Hearts of Service awards luncheon at the Northwest Maritime Center in Port Townsend and Thysen was there with his crew including local Vicky Tallerico. The eight award winners included Port Ludlow’s Bob Reasoner and Jamie Bima who was actually out of town helping to celebrate the college graduation of one of her “little sisters” from the “Big Brothers Big Sisters” program. Then GBF catered another dinner at the Port Ludlow Yacht Club last Saturday. That dinner became the place to be in Port Ludlow because the “Sock Hop” was cancelled due to the low number of people who signed-up. I suspect all the local Rock and Rollers were home working on their “live-alone” plans.

Given the topic of the column and the fact that spring might really be here, I feel obligated to provide an observation attributed to H. L. Mencken. “A cynic is a man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.”

Love a curmudgeon and have a great week!