April fools: Things I definitely didn’t do

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Fifty-two years ago today I did not go into the U.S. Navy leaving my bride of nine days in front of the federal building in Cleveland, Ohio. I knew exactly where I was going and for how long. BJ knew that it was just a joke on my part.

My 11-year old grandson did not contact me about joining only him in a book club where we would read part of a book each week and then discuss it every Friday. If we did this it would not be good for our relationship or minds. I didn’t immediately go to Amazon Smile to order the book and make a small contribution to the Backpack for Kids as a part of Amazon’s “Smile” program.

One of the dearest and most loyal fans of this column, Bev Kestler, died last week. She wasn’t really full of idiosyncrasies like almost subsisting on chocolate. She and Bernie provided no fun at any community events such as Dine and Discover etc.

Zoom hasn’t really been the social foundation of my life the past couple of weeks, as I was included in several meetings of between two and 30 people. BJ didn’t lose a game of Yahtzee to a grandson played by using, yep, Zoom. BJ and I didn’t really share a glass of wine with John and Lucrezia Paxson for happy hour last Friday evening using, again, Zoom.

Down at Active Life Physical Therapy they formerly played music from the 1960s. I complained that they should be playing more client-appropriate tunes like all that hip hop and rap from the 1990s and early 2000s. Consequently, I did not really provide them a list of the best songs from the 1960s that was given to BJ and me on the occasion of our 50th wedding anniversary two years ago.

The Port Ludlow Performing Arts concerts are going on as planned in spite of government directives to cancel or postpone all such events and gatherings.

I bought Zoom Stock six weeks ago at $50 a share and it is now $150 a share. I was wise enough to realize the incredible demand the company would have for the online meeting and socialization feature of its product.

OK, all that stuff is a lie because, well, today is April Fools’ Day. All those things really did happen, or in the case of the Zoom stock, did NOT happen. Some are fun and generate happiness in your heart, like the ‘60s music from the Beatles at Active Life and memories of Bev Kestler. Some of it is nostalgic, like the day I went in the Navy, even though that day might have had more uncertainty in it than when the coronavirus will quit determining the agendas of our lives. Some of those things are just “bummers” like the cancellation of so many community events. All of it is the new normal whether it ends on Easter (?) or Labor Day or in 2021.

So this is April 1, 2020, the day for which Mark Twain is credited with reminding us to be thankful for the fools. But for them, the rest of us could not succeed.

Love a curmudgeon, unless they have the virus, and have a great week!

(Ned Luce is a retired IBM executive who loves all things Ludlow.)