You know winter is here because the days are wetter and shorter, although they are now on the way to getting longer. You also know it’s winter because most of the “snowbirds” have “flown the coop” for warmer, dryer weather. (For you non-farmers, that means many of the less-hearty members of the community have headed south.)

This year there is a new indicator that winter is here. Sonja’s shop of fine haircuts, raunchy stories, fine reading material and country music is open only three days a week. How about that? She works only Wednesday through Friday instead of Tuesday through Friday.

Those of us who thought the four-day work week was a great idea are now confronted with the fact that our personal appearance requirements are subject to the schedule of our barber taking a four-day weekend. I got a haircut on Thursday, Rotary lunch day, last week and was trimmed along with Rotarians Jack McKay and Jack Zalaha, and I immediately followed friend Vic Draper.

When Sonja works, she is filling that schedule. I hope she is having fun Saturday through Tuesday while we all get shaggier.

My friend and fellow Rotarian John Erickson tells me the purpose of Rotary is to extract as much money as possible from club members. I have friends who claim my purpose in Rotary is to extract as much money as possible from them.

In any case, the clubs have various programs to accomplish raising funds from either source.

Unfortunately, I witnessed an unusually unattractive yet successful program raise money for the Rotary Foundation during a meeting of the Port Townsend club last week.

As I understood it, members were asked to contribute to a fund to encourage local insurance salesman Homer Smith to either sing or not sing. Being fairly neutral, I contributed to both.

Homer was in the back of the room and supposedly the folks who wanted him to sing won by contributing more money. When given the microphone, he claimed to be dressed like John Lennon, and he had an accomplice supposedly dressed like Yoko Ono.

Frankly, it should have stopped right there. However, he had brought several pots of tulips and proceeded to present a version of Tiny Tim’s “Tiptoe Through the Tulips,” accompanied by a ukulele player.

You have heard fingernails scratch on a blackboard, right?

None of this was very attractive, but it does present a picture of how far a Rotarian will go to raise a buck to help solve the world’s problems, from supporting local food banks to eradicating polio.

Last week I told you about going to the Chimacum High School boys and girls basketball games. This week I can tell you the boys have won their last two games, breaking a long losing streak. The girls team secured the league championship. Keep it up.

The Kansas City Chiefs played the New England Patriots last Sunday for a chance to play in the Super Bowl. Unfortunately, they lost in overtime. The Chiefs were in the very first Super Bowl in 1967, losing to the Packers, but they came back and won the fourth Super Bowl against the Vikings in 1970.

They have not been in the game since then, 49 years. Join me in my sorrow.

The problem is that, as Jean-Paul Sartre said, “In football, everything is complicated by the presence of the opposite team.”

Love a curmudgeon and have a great week!

Ned Luce can be reached by email at NedLuce@sbcglobal.net.