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Did Jack pee in your Cheerios?

Did he kick your ass and steal your soulmate?

Lord is a national treasure. And dead! So leave him alone.

It's also "Island Fever" not "Rock Fever."

“Mele Kalikimaka" is gibberish and was made up so that Hawaiians could say Merry Christmas to each other after the holiday became popular on the islands.

Don Ho is a bad ass M'F'er.

Love your column.

Your last piece on how amazing you are was astronomically hilarious.

Keep up the good work.