“No news is better than evil news,” proclaimed King James I of England in 1616. 

Here in Chimacum, news flows through newspapers, broadcasts, websites, and cell phones. But, “What would our community look like without news?” 

Hello everyone, I’m David Attenborough, and this is “Chimacum Without News.” Our observations start on a cedar-lined road. John is leaving his cozy farmhouse; heading to an overtime shift. (Unbeknownst to John, a windstorm brought down a cell tower onto the Hood Canal entrance severing all but satellite news media.) He tunes into his favorite radio channel, but is greeted by static. 

“Those damn sun flares” he thinks as he continues into an unexpected road closure and kicks the road sign down to relieve his anger. If only the radio had been working. 

Twenty minutes late to work from his detour, John notices the newsstand is empty as he enters his work building. The lobby TV is colored by a test screen. 

“No news is good news,” John murmurs to himself. 

However, no one is at work. “Is it a holiday?” John checks his phone but no websites come up for his search and no co-workers have texted. 

“Fine, they’re going to leave me in the cold,” he grumbles, waving his arms in frustration; sending the lobby monitor crashing to the ground. Fuming, John heads home. 

The next day, John wakes to the full force of news again on his phone, stating, “Citizens Growing Restless Over Rising Crime, Signs Downed and Screens Smashed”. Mr. Apple, his neighbor, sweaty with panic comes to talk to John. John agrees the crime wave seemed to come out of nowhere. 

The next day, the news headlines are, “Panic Rises as Citizens Arm Themselves.” Mr. Apple, now as red in the face as his name suggests, argues with John over getting a firearm. 

Tired of arguing, John goes to take a nap. Another news flash comes in, “Neighbors Turn on Each Other as Assault Rates Skyrocket.” 

John awakes to find two groups of neighbors armed and yelling over who is right from behind hay bales. News super-flash, “Chimacum Hay Bale Massacre.” John turns off his phone and starts to walk away as shots ring out. 

To conclude our “News in Nature” observations, news appears both good and bad for human civilization. News can be very helpful to inform us of future events or let us know what’s going on around us. 

However, news can also spread lies, bias, violence and misinformation. The worst part of this is that bad news usually pulls in the most viewers, and is therefore promoted due to money earning power. 

It seems that news and removing it would both benefit us and worsen us as a civilization. As consumers of news, we have a choice of what we support. 

Perhaps, King James I should have stated, “No news can be evil and evil news should be no news.”