Tragedy is about remembrance, and forgiveness.

It's about grieving.

Michelle West has been confronting the first two in the wake of the death of Gregory Bolling, 23, the younger of her two sons, from injuries suffered as a passenger in a vehicle accident Jan. 17.

"In the 23 and a half years I've been blessed to have that young man in my life we probably spent 50 years that a normal mom and son would have, and I am so thankful for all the time that young man has been with me," West told the Leader Jan. 22.

"He was my son but when he got older he became my buddy and my helper. I have a couple of beautiful sons. It hasn't even sunk in. I have been surrounded by so many friends and family. When I have a moment alone, I bawl my head off. I really haven't had grieving time yet."

After two days at Harborview Medical Center in Seattle, the single mother so proud of her two sons, suddenly had to face that one was gone.

"Harborview is absolutely the best place we could have been but with all their expertise, there are such injuries that someone can't come back from, and this was a brain stem injury," West noted.

Gregory ("Most people called him Greg, I always called him Gregory,") had been an organ donor since his first driver's license at age 16. Physicians from the organ donor process on Jan. 20 told her that he would help more than 100 people; his liver saved a life that same day.

The kind of sheer tragedy no parent wants to go through requires that certain things need to be done, and there is no handbook on how to make decisions.

"The first few days you try to put your head into the wind and keep going and get things done that have to be done," she said.

Moving forward, West is planning a public memorial service at 1 p.m. Saturday, Feb. 14 at New Life Assembly of God Church on Hastings Avenue in Port Townsend. She is having her son cremated.

A "Celebration of "Life" for Greg Bolling is also planned from 1 to 4 p.m. Sunday, Jan. 25 at the Port Townsend Yacht Club, 2503 Washington St., across from the West Marine store. "Food beverages, pictures and stories about this wonderful young man, will be appreciated, on behalf of the Bolling family," according to an announcement a family member posted on Facebook.

THE ACCIDENT

West does not know much and has not asked much about the accident itself, such as why Gregory was apparently seated in the middle of the three people in the pickup's front seat.

Shortly before 1:29 a.m. Jan. 17, Taylour Eldridge, 25, was driving his silver 2006 Chevrolet pickup eastbound toward Port Townsend on State Route 20. He failed to negotiate a curve on the Eaglemount Hill, went out of control and left the roadway, according to the Washington State Patrol. The pickup went over an embankment, struck a tree and came to rest on its side. Eldridge was found hanging half out the missing rear window space, and two people were trapped inside.

Gregory Bolling was airlifted to Harborview Medical Center as a "John Doe" for a reason West cannot yet explain, the only ID found with him listed his father's physical address. A state trooper contacted Douglas Bolling in Port Hadlock shortly before 7 a.m. Jan. 17, and the news spread among family, West said, and everyone rushed to Harborview.

West had never met pickup passenger Amelia Syska-Patten, 20, (treated and released from Harborview) who was a friend of Eldridge's.

Bolling was Chimacum High School Class of 2009. His brother, Brian, was Class of 2008, with Eldridge.

More than five years ago, Gregory got a seasonal job with Boreal Fisheries, Inc. in St. Mary's, Alaska, where he was well-regarded for being a fabricator and electrician.

Eldridge went to work with Boreal last summer, and the young men "worked 24/7 together and since they came back, they've been hanging out some," West said. Her son lived in a rental unit in Port Townsend, and was preparing for Peninsula College classes toward finishing his AA degree, expecting to return to work in Alaska again this year.

Eldridge is still in Harborview with a broken pelvis. The accident investigation is being handled by the Washington State Patrol and charges are to be decided by the Jefferson County Prosecutor's Office.

FORGIVENESS

West, owner of Evergreen Fitness, has stayed away from social media this week but felt she had to respond publicly when told that some harsh comments had been directed at Taylour Eldridge.

"When tragedy happens, it's human nature to look to see who to blame," West said. "But that's not God's point of view. Our Creator is about forgiveness, not anger."

Simply, "Gregory was not one to hold a grudge," she said.

"Gregory would be the first to forgive Taylour. We have to, too. We can't go backwards. Nothing is going to bring my son back, and my son was an extremely humble, forgiving, kind, wonderful young man."

Michelle's ring tone for Gregory was a song called "In the blink of an eye" by MercyMe.

"It's about embracing every moment we're here, because in the blink of an eye, we can be taken right off this earth," the mother said with her son in her heart. "Grasp the moment, forgive and love others. It's about the golden rule, to live the best life you can. And Gregory exemplified that."