BATHROOM HUMOR: Funniest place in town? That’s an easy, if offbeat, one: in the men’s restroom, of all places, at a local restaurant.

The first time I entered the gents’ room at The Cup, I came out laughing. I was not expecting to find humor, but boy, does that room have it: The walls are festooned with a quirky, unexpectedly funny and diverse collection of old album covers (remember vinyl?).

There’s “Hugo Winterhalter Goes Hawaiian.” (Remember him, music-trivia buffs?) Also: “Circus Calliope.” (Let’s get this party goin’!). And the washroom hits just keep on coming:

“Honky Tonk Piano with Knuckle Fingers Joe,” “Herman’s Hermits on Tour,” “You Don’t Have to Be Jewish” (but it couldn’t hurt). Also, this incongruous pair: “Grateful Dead Greatest Hits” and “Lawrence Welk Presents Violinist Dick Kesner.” Plus: “Marty Robbins’ Gunfighter Ballads.”

More posted discount-bin gems: “Harmonica – In Stereo,” “All Ears” (CB radio-themed “classics”), “Der Polizkasper” (puppets), and the soundtrack for “My Fair Lady.” Plus many more. Speaking of the last listing, my fair lady (my wife) reports that The Cup’s women’s room is standard decor. No album covers. Sorry, ladies. Get your own vinyl decorator.

POLICE CALLS: One of our favorite features in The Leader are the police and sheriff’s logs, a popular standard feature in many local newspapers.

Sorry, but the ones here each week can’t touch those of the Arcata Eye, which are unsurpassed. That weekly in Arcata, a cannabinated college community in Humboldt County in uppermost northern California, is famous for its cop reports, which have developed a following far beyond Arcata. They’re written by the Eye’s publisher, a talented writer, and have also been published in book form. When I did a humor seminar at the Centrum Writers’ Conference a while back, I used some of these as examples to demonstrate how even the most mundane subjects can be rendered funny. A few examples from a recent issue of the Eye:

“A Bayside Road man claimed he was being harassed by the ‘yak walkers.’”

“A man busied himself with self-administered blows to the head.”

“A woman claimed her pot-smoking mother was insane and had Münchausen Syndrome. The maniacal mom wouldn’t let her in the house to get her possessions. Then a twist – the daughter reported an appointment at the nervous hospital, but whether for her or her mother wasn’t clear.”

“A man paced back and forth outside an eco-groovy abundant shop on Samoa Boulevard, yelling and swearing at nothing in particular, but possibly looking for his shoe. Off to the alcohol ward.”

“Subject is definitely hearing more than one voice, it was determined. That being the case, he was off to the nervous hospital.”

“Another in the inexhaustible supply of drunken grouchmen was arrested.”

“A man wearing a helmet briefly refused to leave a Northtown erotic supply store.”

SWISS NOT CHEESY: I asked noted art patron and soon-to-retire local dentist Steve Scharf, just back from a recent hiking vacation in Switzerland, for some quick impressions (no dental pun intended) of that alpine country.

“Cleanest place I’ve ever seen,” Scharf replied. “No litter anywhere.”

He added this surprising note: “And it’s not because they’re scrupulous about picking up litter.

“They just don’t litter in the first place.”

ANY LEFTIES OUT THERE? A lot of them, I’d wager. Someone mentioned to me the other day how many left-handed people you see here in PeeTee. Right-brained, creative and all that. Five of the past seven presidents have been left-handed (but not Herr Twitler). This righty rightly salutes you southpaws, who may just be the majority here.

(OK, maybe not funny, but interesting.)

STRANGE BUT TRUE: I don’t want anyone thinking for a minute that the aforementioned Arcata has a monopoly on weirdness. I know that well, having once lived and worked in San Francisco.

One San Francisco comic swears he saw a guy on a street corner in that offbeat city holding a sign. It read: “Shave the Whales!”

Port Townsend resident and journalist Bill Mann welcomes input. Send ideas to newsmann9@gmail.com. Mann has written humor columns for CBS’s MarketWatch website and USA Today. His column runs every other week in The Leader.