A Pain in the Butt

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It was Lou Holtz who said, “You need not tell others about your problems because 90 percent of them don’t care and the other 10 percent are glad you have it and not them.” 

In spite of that warning, here I go telling you about my problem. Frankly, I have a bad back and it has devolved into sciatica. What fun! 

During the past four to five years, I have had problems standing for periods longer than 10-15 minutes. You can imagine how much fun I have been at cocktail parties where I search out the chair with the greatest opportunity for sitting and socializing with others. 

I do this even though the conversations involve others standing around whilst I make an effort to be involved from the position of a Hobbit. Oh well, at least I reduce the odds of falling down in a drunken stupor. Actually, I haven’t really been drunk since the ‘80s and maybe before that. I am just trying to find some benefit of the bad back. 

Last week, the sciatica really kicked into high gear so BJ has been driving me around for medical help plus a haircut. (You know I need my bi-weekly ration of good stories from Sonja, the “barberess” down at the Bayside Barber Shop. I also had a supply of magazines I needed to drop off for her to recycle to others like Active Life Physical Therapy next door.) 

BJ took me to the Emergency Room at Harrison Medical Center a little more than a week ago fully prepared to spend a few days there and have some surgery. 

In 1982, I did have surgery on my back for sciatica and I thought I was headed that way again. Alas they gave me a prescription for a muscle relaxant and sent me on my merry way. 

There is significant pressure on hospital employees to figure out the problem in a hurry and then get you going. BJ and I were feeling that from the staff in the ER until one of the nurses decided to help us out by submitting the muscle relaxation prescription to QFC and then helped us to the car in the parking lot. I am sure the time she spent helping us was not in the procedure manual!

Another fun thing we in Port Ludlow have to deal with is the Hood Canal Bridge. Rare is the day that we really need to get over the bridge, either way, in a timely manner. As a result we seldom have interference in our lives from the bridge closings except when we are being held up for awhile and BJ needs a restroom. Heck, if you miss the ferry, another one will be along soon. However, when it involves doctors’ appointments, DO NOT BE LATE. You will either lose the appointment or make them very unhappy. We only encountered bridge delays on 2 of the 3 trips over there last week. 

Then there are the myriad solutions to the problem available through your doctor, your friends, or the proprietor of the local cannabis store. Many of you have had or are having back problems. People have kindly offered up an incredible array of exercises, remedies, (prescription and over the counter), and doctors they have used who have provided significant improvement in their lives. It is truly amazing and the offers of all kinds of help are truly appreciated in spite of the effort needed to sort through them. In addition, BJ may soon tire of my whining and join the 90% who just don’t care. Just kidding, she has been great. So far I missed a great dinner at the Quimper Inn we bought at the Port Townsend Rotary Club annual action and dinner. Then we missed the Andrea Bocelli concert at Key Arena having to sell our tickets at a loss. 

I talk to doctors, friends, therapists, and the dwindling number of people who might care and I suspect that when all is said and done, there will be more said than done. You probably heard that getting older is not for the weak. 

Love a curmudgeon and have a great week.

NedLuce@sbcglobal.net